It was our website (www.sexualityanddisability.org) that made Sushmeetha
Bubna, the Founder- Director of Voice Vision - a computer
training institute working for the overall development of the
visually impaired (VIs) - consider the need for a discussion on
sexuality and relationships. She had expected that organising a
seminar on this subject would meet with resistance, but the
intensity of potential participants' hesitation was more than she
had predicted. However, with repeated emails to VI e-groups and
texts to the connected network of VIs, the session finally hosted
33 participants on 26 August 2012, at the Hiranandani College of
Nursing in Mumbai.
The day-long seminar titled Sexuality and Intimacy was broken
into three major sections, with doctors, counsellors, and activists
at the helm. Some of the experts had never actually interacted with
visually impaired people before, and were apprehensive about
conducting the sessions without any visual aids. But this meant
that it was a learning experience for them as well. The session
helped them grow more sensitive to and aware of the issues. For
example, the importance of using the words 'nondisabled' or
'sighted' rather than 'normal', or describing a picture they would
usually just show, etc.
The sessions carried out were:
Session 1: Know Your Body
For the comfort of the participants, sessions for men and women
were conducted in different rooms. Senior gynaecologists were
invited to speak about anatomy (particularly of the opposite sex)
and the functioning of the reproductive and sexual organs. Since
simply a verbal description would not have been enough, each
participant was given the opportunity to get a tactile sense of the
human body on life-size anatomical models. Men and women brought up
various questions and concerns, which resulted in vibrant
discussions on menstruation, hygiene and reproductive health,
intercourse, sexual satisfaction and orgasms, and
contraception.
Questions like 'How will a woman discover that she is menstruating without seeing?' and
'How will a man know that his partner is turned on?' were asked.
The participants shared their experiences and the speakers enabled
the participants to consider other senses like touch, smell, and
sound to find their answers. The session concluded with a hands-on
demonstration of the use of condoms on penis models.
Session 2: Sexuality and Relationships
Part 1: Sexuality
Participation in this session was ensured through the format
adopted by the public health experts and counsellors who were at
the session. Myths and misconceptions around sexuality were thrown
open for discussion. Mythical statements like 'masturbation makes you weak,' 'men
have a stronger sex drive than women', 'during sex, the bigger the
better,' and 'homosexuality is abnormal,' were
discussed intensely.
Part 2: Relationships
To encourage the sharing of perspectives, this session was
conducted together for all participants. Through the use of case
studies, sensitive issues like social prejudices around a VI being in a relationship, undesirability,
or handling rejections were touched upon. The speaker challenged
the participants with questions such as, 'Do you think you are a
beggar, and beggars are not choosers?' and 'Who will be the best
partner for you - another VI, a sighted person, or a person with
any other impairment?', which enabled them to extricate themselves
from the prejudices they had internalised.
Session 3: Safety and Abuse
The doctor and public health expert conducting this session
again employed the case study approach to talk about child sex abuse, domestic violence, and intimate
partner sexual abuse. She was successfully able to draw in
contributions and reactions from the participants.
At the end of the long and intense day, the participants were
not only armed with information, but felt comfortable speaking
about sexuality and abuse, and were left with food for thought as
far as relationships and sex were concerned. The speakers were a
satisfied lot, and maintained that the questions were not less or
more than any other session they had conducted for the sighted
community. The only difference was the requirement of giving VIs a
platform and space in which to gain such understanding in an
accessible format, and to constantly reaffirm the fact that
visually impaired people are sexual beings who are entitled to
their own pleasures - just like anyone else.
If you have further questions or are interested in joining the
follow up forum for the seminar, please visit this link at Voice Vision
for more details and to get involved.
