Sexuality and Disability

My Story

An Ingenious Way To Live

'I have an acquired disability; I became disabled over the course of a number of years... Prior to becoming disabled, I felt the usual pressures about my relationship to the ideal female body: I worried about my weight, my thighs, my butt, etc... I know I rather liked my wicked, winning sexual self. For the most part, however, I barely noticed -- tried not to notice -- my physical body. I worked in a world that professed admiration for the mind while pretending to ignore the body.

Being In A Wheelchair

'I was very nervous and didn't have the usual teenage experience of growing up and being aware of myself as a sexual person. All the emphasis on "the perfect body" doesn't help, especially since there's no way I could ever aspire to what is seen as ideal. Being in a wheelchair limits my ability to move in what you would consider the standard sexual ways. It can be hard enough discussing sex with an established partner, never mind having to be upfront from the start and really spell out the realities - for example, telling someone it hurts when he does that, I have no feeling there or I physically cannot manage to do that.

Questions

Question1 I don't look like everyone else, and my body works differently. Am I normal?
Despite what you may have been told or shown, difference is completely natural - bodies come in varying shapes and sizes, and no two people look, feel, smell, taste or sound exactly alike. Read more on I don't look like everyone else, and my body works differently. Am I normal

Question2 What do people mean by safer sex?
Safer sex is often defined as protecting yourself from unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV. Read more on What do people mean by safer sex?

Question3 My husband is also disabled. He refuses to have a child because he thinks I will start ignoring him. What do I do?
Try and think for a moment why he may feel this way. Does he think that your love for him will decrease? That you will no longer spend time together? Read more on My husband is also disabled. He refuses to have a child because he thinks I will start ignoring him. What do I do?